A few years ago we introduced full telephone assessments of all our potential clients and I feel that it has proved invaluable both to them and to our Voluntary Bereavement Visitors. Of course I have had to hone up my counselling skills such as immediate engagement, the use of empathetic silence punctuated by short, gentle reassurance, but most of all listening intently, not just to overcome any language difficulty or stifled crying but to the unspoken horror that lies behind the statements.
I know I am always saying how complex some of the cases are, but it is true - just look at the statistics of the causes of death. It is obvious from the numbers of suicides, drug and alcohol-related deaths, accidents, and murders that many of our clients must be deeply traumatised.
Many have suffered multiple loss especially refugees and asylum seekers, who may be sole survivors of a civil war zone. When someone is obviously suffering mental repercussions from such memories, I seek their permission to speak with their referrer (doctor, social worker, community nurse) not because we need to know any more facts but simply to establish a workplan with these colleagues. This shows the client we are taking his/her needs seriously in order to offer appropriate support in their grief until they themselves feel more in control.
As for my role as Consultant, well, I am just that not so much Deep Throat as Listening Ear. I really enjoy the work because I believe that together we are making such a difference for so many. And I thank my lucky stars I've now got new knees for the journey!